19 Feb 2012

I told you it was going to get messy...

Since we last spoke, things have gone a bit mental. My best mate (one of my two bridesmaids) has withdrawn from the wedding. Shocking I know - I'm still hurt and disappointed and I don't think that's going to change any time soon. Basically, because we've got the no children rule (we don't have any children in the family and don't know many people with children), she feels that she can't come and that I'm making her choose between me and her family. That's in a nutshell but there was plenty more in the emails we've been exchanging. Her family and her follow Attachment Parenting and I've read up about it over the past two week to try and understand it a bit better and come to terms with why she feels she can't attend. Whilst I understand and respect any way she wants to raise her family, I just can't believe that her parenting style is so limiting that she can't leave a 6 year old and a 2 and a half year old for the day with someone familiar to them. During my research about this parenting style I've realised it's something that most mothers and fathers do with little ones but it's the extent to which they follow it which is the reason they can't and won't attend. Possibly a touch more hurtful that its her choice, not because she can't come. I've been made aware that she leaves the children for knitting groups and offers to let her mother take them overnight so I am struggling to understand how this stops her from going to share in my special day.

Frankly I'm just so broken hearted that I've asked her not to come at all as her compromise was her attending the ceremony whilst her children and husband waited somewhere nearby, and then going straight home and this wasn't what I envisaged for our special day. It would upset me so much to be looking for her in the congregation and knowing she was not by my side as I'd wanted her to be. After all ladies and gents, this is going to be one of the most special days of my life and after nearly 29 years of friendship I didn't think it was going to be such a big problem.

Pouty times in the Chatter household.

1 comment:

  1. Hang on in there Ms Chatter!
    Weddings (as you are finding out) are stressful and extremely emotional affairs.....take plenty of deep breaths and assured steps towards your big day and although it might not feel like it at the moment, everything does and will fall into place for your special day!

    Sending you a big virtual (((hug)))