Needle Phobia - a positive update

It's been well over a year since I addressed this point on the blog but I thought it deserved an update. The first post regarding my needle phobia is here if anyone wanted to read it again or give it a first look.


In this last year and a bit I've realised that I couldn't go on avoiding needles forever. It would be nice if that was the case but  it's not very realistic. We've all seen people like The Speakmans on the television helping people overcome these debilitating phobias and really improving these peoples lives, but I didn't have hundreds of pounds to spend on getting better and as a last straw kind of move, I even applied to be part of the show they've recorded this year. I didn't end up participating - I didn't get chosen for the pilot show and by the time I got asked to apply again for the commissioned series I was already exploring other avenues but for anyone who knows me, this was a really out of character thing for me to do, perhaps demonstrating just how desperate I was.


In October last year, something happened which made me hit breaking point with it all and I found the number of a service in the area that I'd seen advertised my my workplace. 'Talking Matters' is a place where you can be referred by your Dr or you can do what I did and self-refer. They deal with phobias, OCD, stress, anxiety and depression issues, and you can read about their services on the link. I nervously dialled the number and the lady who picked up the phone was amazingly understanding when I laid my cards on the table and asked if they could help. They said they'd ring me the following week for an assessment of my needs and they were very punctual and sensitive when I had this appointment. Long story short, I was paired with a lovely chap I've since called Phobia Phil. We've worked through lots of Cognitive Behavioural therapy (CBT) techniques to try to teach me how to get a handle on all of this and whilst there have been tears and emotional conversations, I cannot believe how much of a difference this course of action has made to my life.


One of the reasons I wanted to get treatments for my phobia was because my husband and I wanted to have a family and as you know I'm now very pregnant. 'Talking Matters' has enabled me to do one of the things I never thought possible and that was to have blood taken, albeit from my hand, for the first time in 23 years. I'm still working hard to get the courage and discipline to have blood taken from the bend of my arm but it's not something I see as impossible anymore which is half the battle. I'm due some more tests in the next week and I won't lie, I'm still very frightened but the fact that I'm talking about it and getting it done is incredible. I feel like someone has waved a magic wand over me.


Please, please seek help with your phobia or anxiety problem if you have one. Talking Matters is my local service on Teesside but there should be similar provision around the country so ask your GP or Google it to find yours. You don't have to suffer and be like that for the rest of your life. I wish someone had given me the information to sort this out for myself sooner and I'll never look back. Who knows, it might just save your life.

What's in a name?

We're now half way through the pregnancy and have started looking at names for the little baba we've been calling 'Titch' whilst he or she is in my tummy. The scan is next week and we've chosen not to find out the answer to the question everyone seems to want to know - pink or blue?

The approach we've taken isn't everyone's approach it seems. Some people have loved particular names all their lives and some put it to public vote using social media. A dangerous game if you stick to the public choice which is no doubt something crazy!? There was a chap who did exactly that and at last check, he was going to have to name his child Optimus Prime or something from Transformers. I wonder if he followed through with it?

As I've probably said before, we're that couple who didn't have any elements of our wedding pre-chosen and it's the same with baby names. We've never had any favourites that we've always wanted to call a little bundle of joy, so we've been pouring over name books and websites to give us inspiration. We've managed to shortlist a few, but we're keeping those under wraps until we meet the little guy or gal to see what suits them. The biggest struggle choosing names has been associating the name with someone else or even a pet. In most cases it's been realising we know someone with the same name who is irritating or has negative connotations in some respect, whether that's a celebrity or a person we know or have met in our lives. The next hurdle was choosing a name one of our friends or colleagues hasn't already chosen. I know it's not a pre-requisite, but I didn't want our baby to have the same name as all the other kids belonging to people we know. There are plenty of names to choose from in the world and we're not choosing really random names, but since we don't have our hearts set on any it just made sense to us to do it this way. The next check we needed to do is to write what the initials would be, say the names out aloud and check that the most torturous nicknames aren't going to be painfully obvious. A woman at work suggested 'Belle' until another collegue followed it wih the word 'end'. School is hard enough without targeting your kids for abuse! Having done all that we're happy with our traditional choices and have managed to tick everything off our list to do the best we can for Titch.

Only approximately 20 weeks to find out now!