My new full time job - Motherhood

Six weeks ago I got a new job that I wasn't meant to start until September and that I've never been more eager to start. The job? Being a mammy. Apparently baby was eager too and surprised us six weeks early! As my husband and I don't really know very many other people with babies or children that we see very often, it's been a case of learning on the job in our new role as parents.

Thinking back over the last month or so, the biggest thing I've come to realise is the lesson we've been taught about human kindness. Family, friends, hospital staff and even strangers have rallied round, cooking us boat loads of meals for the freezer, offering help in numerous guises, sending far too many (much appreciated) cards and gifts and everyone giving smiles and well wishes. Until we had Toby, we didn't realise how much babies bring out the best in most people.  We've also giggled about how much female attention fellas get holding a new born.

For a couple of weeks, Toby had to stay in the Neonatal unit to get strong enough to come home. Although he was fairly robust in comparison to many of the other little babies in the ward, his birth and subsequent stay in the unit came as a huge surprise to us. After all, despite being first-time parents, our textbook pregnancy had led us to believe little man would appear around forty weeks and be able to go home after a day or two. The last thing we expected was to have to leave hospital still as a duo, but I'll forever be thankful that this was only a temporary measure. When I was staying in the hospital with Toby, I got up at 3am to help with changing and feeding him. I was cuddling him afterwards and in a moment I'll remember for the rest of my life, he opened his eyes and looked right at me. It was in that instant I was overwhelmed by my love for my beautiful son and I knew my life would never be the same. Before July, we knew nothing about the neonatal unit, but we found it to be a place full of positivity and we'll always be grateful to the numerous nurses who cared for Toby (and gave us so much support and advice) during those weeks. They are truly inspirational. 

Something that's been invaluable since we got home has been a saline spray and a nasal aspirator for Toby's nose. Poor little sniffly thing has been getting used to the big dusty world and these two things have helped him and us get relief and some sleep rather than fall victim to congestion. I would fully recommend them (I love you Boots) and I've included links to them.

Another thing we've come to realise is that there's no such thing as too many photographs. Even in the few weeks Toby has been with us, we've noticed so much of a change which we've been fortunate enough to chronicle to enjoy (and use to embarrass him) at a later date. I'm already imagining Toby's life when he's older...his first words, his first steps, what music he'll like, the first time we can surprise him with a trip to Disney World...I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!! He's got bags of character already and both my husband and I are excited to see the person he'll become. Whoever that is, I can't imagine loving anything more in my entire life. I guess to sum it up, becoming a parent is the best thing I've ever done and although the hours are long and the pay is appalling, I'll never want another job.

 

Parenting - an idiots guide

I was recently bought a copy of 'First-Time Parent'  by Lucy Atkins. I've avoided buying baby books during my pregnancy because I expected to feel overwhelmed by the information in them and thought I would just google anything I wanted to know or ask friends and family. My mam kindly bought this for us so I thought I'd give it a go and I've been so impressed. It's a total idiots guide, it's not too wordy or preachy, and best of all there's no bulls**t. Atkins tells you what you need, what not to spend money on if you don't want to, and all the things you probably would feel silly asking - like how to change a nappy. Let's face it, these skills aren't innate and if you don't know many or any people with children, why the hell would you know how to look after a child?


Here's the Amazon description:

Forget unrealistic childcare manuals – this is the book you really need to help you cope brilliantly with those first chaotic days and months ahead.

As a health journalist and mother-of-three, Lucy Atkins is familiar with both the medical aspects of childbirth and baby development, and the reality of day-to-day life as an exhausted first-time mum or dad. In her feisty, humorous style, she begins with that first mind-blowing day and addresses the issues unique to the first-time parent who stares at their newborn and thinks “Where are the instructions?”

Anticipating the questions and concerns of all new mothers–Why does my baby cry so much? Will I ever lose all this weight? Am I a bad parent because…?–the book provides practical advice and level-headed reassurance. It addresses the needs of the baby and, very importantly, those of the parent during the first year of their baby’s life.

Contents include:
• Starter’s orders – the equipment and kit you really need, as opposed to what the department store tells you
• Hello – how to cope with the first few hours
• Start – coming home, bonding, how to survive the first few days
• Sleep – for everyone!
• Cry – why your baby cries, what to do, why you'll want to cry, too
• Eat –breastfeeding, supplemental feeding, moving to solids, nutrition
• Grow – baby's physical and mental development
• Play – yes, you two actually can have fun
• Thrive – health considerations for baby and parent
• Live – adapting to your new life, the changing mother-father relationship
• Work – coping with being at home and with going back to work
• Also includes information on single parenting, and on adopted, multiple and special needs babies.

The First-Time Parent is on your side, and reassures that you can cope brilliantly with your new baby and your new life.


I felt like Atkins was an honest mate. Someone who you'd feel comfortable receiving guidance from whilst having a laugh. My favourite points have been that it's not patronising, there are plenty of references to the father's role to keep all the lovely dads informed and there are no guilt trips about breast-feeding, instant connections with your baby, feeling like you have to be the human embodiment of Mother Nature and all that clap trap. It's a really healthy account of how to take on the roles of mother and father and how you shouldn't feel guilty about trying your best. Perhaps an attitude a few health professionals could adopt and cut new parents some slack.

If you're a first-time mammy or daddy and fancy a read of something understanding, to-the-point and how you'd probably want to explain parenting to a newbie, this is the book for you. 

Are you a High Achiever?

I met up with an old school friend at Christmas. We only manage to see each other once or twice a year as he lives in London and I still live on good old Teesside where we grew up together. A conversation we had really got me thinking and after seeing a related article in a magazine and having a change or circumstances in my own life I mulled over about what we'd discussed.


The day that we had met up, my friend had already visited another friend and they'd been discussing who the 'high achievers' were from school. I found it interesting that every person mentioned had moved to the city and now worked as a freelance writer,  was in a good position for ITV or was jet-setting around the globe. Admittedly these are fantastic achievements, especially when you consider how competitive the job market is these days, but when I thought about the other things in their lives (I only know because of Facebook) then the rest of their lives didn't seem quite as well-rounded. Again, I'm not saying that you need a partner to be happy, but I know at least one of them had a failed engagement so I figured that at least one of them did want more from that aspect of their lives. I suppose what I'm asking is: How do you classify a High Achiever?


Career -wise, I've hopped around a bit. Now at age 30 I've still never settled on one thing I've always wanted to do. I'm more a 'Mr Ben' type who would like to have lots of experiences until maybe one day I've found something I LOVE. I've worked in retail, pharmacy, admin and I've been self-employed and I've loved most of them for different aspect of each role. I must say at times I've been very envious of people who have always known what they've wanted to do, they've focused on getting there and they'll do this job until they retire. I suppose by 30 I expected to be on more money and a bit more settled than I am, but then every other aspect of my life is perfect and this year I'll be taking on my most challenging role yet - being a mammy! I've heard the pay is rubbish but the rewards are second to none ;)


I class myself as wage poor but experience and love rich and so I would class myself as a high achiever. Of course I'd love to be on more money but I wouldn't swap it for anything that I have in my life. I was lucky enough to meet my husband when I was 19 and we'll have been together 11 years this year. We're blessed enough to have a baby on the way and we work hard to have nice experiences and a beautiful home and are lucky enough to have amazing relationships with our families and friends. That's something all the promotions and money in the world can't earn you. So if I had that conversation again, I might argue that myself and other people in a similar position to me are also 'High Achievers' and need adding to that hallowed list for less obvious but equally as important success.